Worm Journal

I once read somewhere (most likely from an unreliable source) that if all of the Earth's worms came to the surface, we would be standing two feet deep in the hermaphroditic creatures.  More than a million earthworms can be found in a single acre of land. Here’s the simple truth: I think worms are the coolest thing. There are 2,700 kinds of earthworms; I mean, obviously they’re doing something right. It is a well known fact that the invertabrates have no arms, legs or eyes, yet they manage to wiggle their way through grass and dirt, and still know up from down. I would never be able to do that! And although worms cannot see light, they can sense it, and try to keep away from it, because extended light exposure can paralyze them. Crazy, right?  Plus, everyone knows that if you cut a worm in half, it contimues to live. However, not only that, but that worm half will continue to grow, flourish and reproduce if left to. Worms are cold blooded, which, literally and figuratively, makes the even cooler. Here, think about this: Worms aren’t mamals, so they must lay eggs. Imagine how small that egg must be. Actually, baby worms hatch from cacoon structures smaller than a grain of rice. Worms can even eat their own weight in less than a day. Worms are so impressive thar Charles Darwin spent nearly four decades studying them. To be honest, if I didn’t know that they would just be slaughtered in masses and their corpses hung as trophies on the end of a hooked pole, I would probably want to be a worm farmer. It’s a real thing and it’s real cool.

"Modern Family" Character Analysis

       Ty Burrell's depiction of the round character Phil Dunphy incorporates sensitive disposition, exaggerated reaction and family values in order to create humor through his own responses and those of his family.

       A self-proclaimed "dreamer", Phil is extra affected by criticism, especially when given by those close to him. Phil, when confronted by his wife, interrupts "stop! I love your 'I love you', but I'm getting awfully tired of your 'but'", effectively outlining his fragile emotional side claiming Claire, his wife, "squelch[es his] dreams". Again his sensitivity is displayed in reaction to "the devil's trifecta", but his wife and daughters fail to see his sympathetic ways and ironically accuse him for acting otherwise. Being a fan of "leap day", Phil is initially devastated when he cannot execute the plans he had arranged months in advance: Phil did all he could to get his family to come with him to the acrobat lessons, though not even he ended up going. Phil is almost naive in his selective-blindness to reality and his complete faith in good.

       Throughout the series, Phil manages to react senselessly to inconsequential situations, such as a doctor's call and the acquired knowledge of the loss of his daughter's virginity. Phil, upon missing a call from his doctor, develops a superstition that he has "a 60% chance of living" and begins to panic. He connects the doctor's call to the inconvenient end of his "lifetime supply" of razors. Expecting his imminent death, Phil tries to spend time with his children, and his extended family is summoned to hear the "bad news". Although nothing ends up being "wrong" with him, Phil still reacts wildly because of assumptions. Similarly, when he learns that his daughter has had sex, Phil responds poorly, saying that she'll "never be the same". "This giant thing" has a massive impact on Phil, and he becomes distant and pensive for the bulk of the day. Finally, with the aid of his wife and daughter, Phil comes to the realization that this development does not change his daughter, or the fact that he loves her.

       Phil is a family-oriented man who tries to be the "cool dad" and the good husband. Trying to be relatable does not often work to his advantage, however, the insight he acquires helps him in the end. In his attempts to be empathetic with his wife and daughters when they are menstruating, Phil ends up being in a similar condition—“emotional, hungry and in pain”. Phil asks his son for the “trick to those fake tears” in order to persuade his wife to have sex with him. The character comically incorporates his values and family into his actions, as well as his thoughts.

       A humorous effect is helped by Phil’s character by way of his dramatic tendencies and the reactions they evoke from his family. The sensitive manner, overstated responses and familial incorporation all contribute to his characterization as well as the overall comedy of “Modern Family”. Although goofy, Phil is caring and understanding to such an extent that the show has deeper and more insightful undertones beyond the blatant comedy.

Examination and Rectification of Modern America

            Now, more than ever, is supposed to be a time of equality. Instead, it is a time of bigotry and ignorance. It is a time of the neglect of others’ beliefs and identities. Supported by the U.S. Constitution, but rarely upheld, separation between church and state must be enforced, now more than ever. With religion a prevailing theme in modern politics, and equal rights for homosexuals, mere empty promises, the line between government and faith is becoming blurred. Although occasionally defended by the Supreme Court, the “separation” is not clearly defined, and thus, is regularly interpreted to one’s own advantage, whether that separation is total, or minute. In order to strengthen and unify the country, as well as to better the government, a separation between religion and politics must be absolute and unquestionably outlined.
            The Bill of Rights upholds the right of religious freedom, in practice, worship and observation. The allowance of religious freedom ultimately permits people to make decisions based on their own religious and moral code and not be chastised for it. Yet, same-sex-marriage and abortion are frequently argued topics. Politicians and citizens dispute over pro-life versus pro-choice, and pro-marriage versus anti-gay, when the fact of the matter is, based on separation of church and state, both abortion and gay marriage should be available to the public. Whether one makes use of the opportunity allowed is up to the individual.
             It is a well known fact that religious affiliation can greatly influence the electability of politicians. Religious views also, undoubtedly, affect how they perceive the country, and where they stand on social issues. Though, religion and morality go hand in hand, the two are distinct from one another: a person can have a strict moral standing, whether it be based on religious teachings, beliefs, or otherwise, and not be devout followers of a religion, or even use religion as support to their moral beliefs. In some cases, religion is used to strengthen a campaign and to gain a following; in others it is used as an accusation to weaken an opponent. Jefferson, Lincoln, Taft, and most recently, Obama, have each been bemoaned for their supposed atheism, though none of our 44 presidents have identified as Atheist, Jewish, Hindu, or any number of other specifically non-Christian religions.
            In America, 78.4% of the population follows Christian beliefs and traditions. 16.1% of the population claims no religion, or unaffiliated and the last 4.7% fall into the “other religion” category, made up of Judaism, Hinduism, Muslim, etc. Religion aids in determining political party; republican groups, most heavily, identify as conservative Evangelist, Mainline and other (mostly) orthodox Christian, where as democratic groups are mainly made up of black Protestant, Jewish, Latino Catholic, and other faiths and independent groups generally consist of those identifying as other (less severe) Christian religions, other faiths, and unaffiliated.
            So here, I propose a change. Seeing as today’s concept of “separation” is not working, I figure that the right to freedom of religion should be revoked, and hereby, each individual shall convert to Shamanism. With no distinct lines to be drawn between faiths, religion may not be used to discriminate. Shamanism encompasses a large range of beliefs and practices, all involving communication with the spirit world. All government buildings will be converted into places of worship and observation of Shamanism. Group rituals will take place on a weekly or bi-weekly bias as to encourage communication and unity among districts. Divination and healing will occur with consent. It can neither be used to support, or dissuade. Because Shamans act as mediators in their culture, and are given the task of preserving traditions through song and story-telling, it is only expected that Shamanism should be the religion of the United States. Additionally, Shamans commonly identify with the opposite gender (in dress, attributes, attitude), and assume that role, and often, sexual orientation; these shaman are thought especially powerful. This further promotes Shamanism on the basis of equality, and open-mindedness. Shamanism comes with some risk, and therefore, must breed a strong leader. Each district will elect one leader; the collection of leaders creates a “board” somewhat akin to a clergy. The board of Shamans alone will discuss issues, consult with the spirit realm, and determine what is best for the country.
            We cannot pretend that violence doesn’t appeal to us, as humans, Americans, and viewers. We search for justice, and the most gruesome justice we can find. Regardless of age, gender, race, affiliation, or reasoning, everyone alike will be threatened with punishment. Those who refuse to convert to Shamanism, and all heretics will be banished, tortured or executed in much the same manner as those during Salem Witch Trials, until dead, or reformed. (“Reformed” to mean that the person sees the error in their ways, and accepts Shamanism and all new laws, regulations, and customs.) Executions will be spectator events, long and painful. Torture will be commonplace. What was once reserved for women accused of mysticism will be used to treat the ailment of refusal.  The public of the district is given the task of choosing the means of punishment, popular opinion wins, be it “cruel and unusual punishment” or no. It makes sense that we would go back to the tried and true methods of the Witch Trials. Thousands upon thousands of books and essays have been written about that time in history; it is taught in modern classrooms: it is obvious we must have been doing something right.
            It is readily agreed that this problem is a true one, with real consequences. It is something which must be rectified and dealt with appropriately. Although I supply a resolution, and am sure that it will be most plausible and effective, I will graciously accept other suggested solutions. It makes little difference as to who offers the fix, as long as one is provided and acted upon. The public, the nation, can no longer ignore the wrongs being done and the blatant ignorance of the Constitutional separation between church and state. We are oppressed, and the only conceivable way to free ourselves is through eradication of religious tolerance, and restoration of the government and its policies. We must reinstate the procedures of the successful days of old. We will be a new, better America, built around the triumphs of the old, intolerant America.

Examining the Execution of A Modest Proposal

                Intending to shock Ireland into change in A Modest Proposal, Jonathan Swift makes use of hyperbolic solution, descriptive language and satirical analysis in order to openly express his critiques both of the Irish government, and its citizens.
                Swift, of course, assumes people value human life and care for the wellbeing of the poor and hungry; because of this, the author expects his audience to be upset over his shocking and exaggerated suggestion to eat the children. By jokingly suggesting that their offspring should be used as food, Swift appeals to parental emotion: “a healthy young child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food” (Swift). Knowing that many will be affected by his outrageous proposition, Swift aims to draw attention to the poverty and overpopulation in Ireland. The unethical proposal to eat “a beggar’s child” and referring to infants as “excellent nutritive meat “hopes to shock the public into realizing the state of Ireland, and producing alternate, more appropriate solutions; Swift is “not to violently bent upon [his] own opinion, as to reject any offer, proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy, and effectual.”
            To make his argument more effective, Swift utilizes graphic, descriptive language to summarize the particulars of his “scheme”. In his argument, the author not only suggests the consumption of infants, but clearly outlines the process of raising the children, and the options for cooking them; “whether stewed, roasted, baked or broiled …it will equally serve as a fricasie or ragoust”. Only Swift’s use of over-the-top and detailed diction hint to the reader that the essay is a work of satire: “the addition of some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barrel’d beef: the propagation of swine’s flesh, and improvement in the art of making bacon…are no way comparable in taste3 or magnificence to a well grown, fat yearly child”. The language, and tone established through the language both work to make Swift’s essay effective in producing reactions in the reader.
            Each example or piece of data provided by Swift is supported and in depth, though the evidence itself is never quite serious. In being “assured by a very knowing American of [his] acquaintance in London”, Swift expects the audience to take what he is saying somewhat in earnest. Because the source of his data is never really specified, though, it can be inferred that most, if not all of it, it untrue. Swift is “assured by [the] merchants” on topics which seem obscene and seemingly impossible to have been tested. “Some persons” and “friends” are referenced in alleged support of Swift’s proposal and as offering evidence for it, though, there is no certainty as to where the proof or espousals come from, or how it was determined. The unrealistic quality of his claims paired with the ambiguity of his evidence creates a subtle satirical humor to the reader that knows the piece is not a genuine proposal.
            Through using histrionic solution, graphic diction and humorously questionable analysis in A Modest Proposal, Swifts’ clear criticism of social issues in Ireland is emphasized. Jonathan Swift creates a satirical essay put forward to inspire change and open the eyes of Irish citizens. Poverty and overpopulation are a problem for the country, and a burden to the people; the author merely intends to instigate thought about plausible solutions to these troubles.

AP "Comic Effect"

Producing a comic effect by shifting from a date to an unexpected family reunion in "Kiss and Tell", Alain de Botton makes use of discrete characterization in order to demonstrate that the disconnect "'let on'" by the generational gap is not as strong as one may hope. In the girl’s prediction that “this is prime argument territory…Mum will be asking Dad where he put the car park ticket and he’ll get flustered because he’ll have dropped it into a bin by mistake”, de Botton supplies characterization to Isabel and both of her parents; because the prediction comes true, that characterization is cemented, and Isabel’s understanding of her parents is outlined. It is established through his actions and dialogue that Isabel’s father is forgetful and detail-oriented. Although Isabels tries “her best not to recognize” the similarities between herself and her mother, it is clear they exist. Both women appreciate the “Spanish domestic drama” and “nice” dresses, even if the daughter is resistant to admit it, claiming her mother’s dress “looks like a willow tree”. De Botton highlights the connection between the family members in characterizing them separately, but displaying deep-rooted understanding and love which seems to the characters as “coincidence”.

"Naked Lunch" Thesis

Portraying an interaction between former lovers in Naked Lunch, Michael Hollinger combines discrete symbolism, stereotypical characterization and subtle vampirism in order to display the duality of human nature.

"Suburban" Thesis

Offering a humorous anecdote in "Suburban", John Ciardi skillfully employs religious allusion, formulated ambiguity and situational irony in order to elucidate the overarching theme of sacrifice and reward.